If God teaches us to love and accept one another, and to not judge thy neighbor, then why is it that we still have hate and are ashamed of our children, friends, and family when they make mistakes or do something that another does not like? How can we overcome this and learn to love everyone and carry on God's original intent of his teachings?
These are very good questions an actually not easy to answer. Questions in which a lot of people can associate with, I’m sure. What’s funny is a lot of people don’t even understand why they respond the way they do. We may think we understand the ‘love thy neighbor’ and ‘do not judge’ concept, but to most of us, the opposite is a natural way we respond when someone does something we “do not like” as you put it. Let me also mention, the “do not judge thy neighbor” commandment is not a commandment to ignore someone or not to point out to someone when they may be doing something that maybe sinful or even harmful. Also, let me suggest to you that it may ‘seem’ like it’s a ‘hateful’ response. Yes, there are those that outright do respond that way, but I like to think for most of us, it’s as I said’ an unknowing of why we respond the way we do’.
As you have essentially asked two questions; first about our hateful nature and secondly ”how we can overcome and carry on with God’s intention”, I’ll try and give my honest responses based upon my beliefs and study of God’s word.
First let me speak about our nature. It explains a lot. Because of our fallen and sinful nature, these judgmental tendencies will usually come to light before any of our more rational responses come into the picture. Basically, we just can’t help it. Our ego’s, our personal beliefs and upbringing all come into play with our responses to the actions of others. When we do respond in a ‘hateful’ manner we are in fact sinning;
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Rom. 3:23
“All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” Mk. 7:21
When it is someone close to us that we have an issue with, its more likely because we care about the person and if we have a understanding of scripture and God’s requirements for us, we want to lovingly correct them. To point out their decision is a sinful one. One which, depending on the issue could hurt them - eternally. There’s a difference between hating a person vs. hating their actions.
Now you may respond to this by saying “well that’s the way I feel and you have no right to think or feel that way because of what you believe”. Well since you have asked a Christian these kind of questions, you are going to get responses based on their beliefs of God’s word. The bottom line is, if a true Christian knows the person is doing something that is a sin, they are obligated to lovingly tell that person. There is a difference between “judging” vs. rebuking a person in a true Christian manner. Scripture is filled with verses of loving rebukes of one’s actions such as;
“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent.” Rev. 3:19
“Open rebuke is better Than love carefully concealed.” Pov.27:5
“ …….My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.” Heb.12:5-6
When these things are about our family members or friends, we need to remember what God’s word says;
And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. Deut. 6:6-7
So for the first part of your question- “Why”?, it’s because of our natural sinful being, a realization of the evil that is in this world which is simply Satan’s way of keeping us from practicing God’s teachings, and finally realizing that we are not in God’s grace from birth.
Our actions go against God’s original intent for us to “love one another”. This is why He finally sent Jesus to teach us these things. This theme was the main intent of Jesus’ ministry.
As far as your other question as to how can we “overcome this and learn to love everyone and carry on God's original intent of his teachings” ? Simply, or maybe not so simply, by understanding what it means to be “made in the image of God” as it says in Genesis 1:27 To truly know the teaching of Jesus when He states to “love one another, as I have loved you”. Only by prayer, by constantly being aware that we need God in our lives by asking Jesus to come into our lives to truly control our responses, and ‘change’ the person we are. I can tell you from personal experience, there is no other way I know that will work. It is a matter of lovingly correcting them as Scripture teaches us to do.